


Soon you'll grow tired

by Selestiles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean making us cry, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, you get the late night anxieties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selestiles/pseuds/Selestiles
Summary: Dean is a ladies man, and you don’t know if you’re enough for him. You’re nothing special, after all.





	Soon you'll grow tired

**Author's Note:**

> mediocre can be spECIAL, FRIENDS

“I love you” he says.

You feel the same anxious flutter of your heart as you always do. Being loved by Dean Winchester is a big responsibility.

“You do now” and _woah_ , where the hell did that come from? Maybe it was the darkness of the room, the way it made the moment feel like you were inside your head and whatever you said wouldn’t affect the real world. It would. You knew that rationally.

But Dean’s arm was around your waist and the bed was comfy and warm. And the real world didn’t feel like this. It felt like blood and screams and a knife severing a head clean off a body.

“What?” He whispers. Why is he whispering?

You wince, you had hoped he hadn’t heard you. Even you didn’t know the answer to his question. Or maybe you just weren’t prepared to answer it. His arm tightens around you.

“It’s nothing” you murmur, then “I love you too” it sounds like an afterthought and you know he noticed too.

“Y/N” it sounds like a warning and you wonder if you can get out of this one by pretending to be asleep. You almost scoff out loud, _of course you can’t_ , he has already caught on to something, and Dean is nothing if not a hunter.

The bed shifts as Dean grabs your shoulder and turns you toward him moving so that he’s over you. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid” you whine and you instantly feel ridiculous. _What is wrong with you?_ You’re supposed to be a hunter, you shouldn’t be feeling like this.

“Maybe it is” he whispers after a beat, playing with a strand of your hair “but it’s bothering you, so I still wanna hear it”

“Don’t you miss the old days?” You start “just you and Sam on the road, going to a bar every night?” You swallow, taking a deep breath. “Having one night stands with pretty girls at every town?” You murmur, your chest tightens and you instantly wish you hadn’t said anything.

He sighs heavily and drops back down next to you “I…” Dean pauses, choosing his next words carefully “it was fun” he says finally “but now’s different, and I still like it.”

Your hand squeezes the arm that’s draped over your waist, his words not making any difference, you knew he was happy now, but would he continue to be? You knew he wasn’t one for relationships before you, and that he changed that when you met. But had he really changed? Or where you trapping him into something he didn’t really want to do.

“Y/N” he says carefully, “you know I wouldn’t…”

“No!” You turn to look at him quickly, cupping his face in your hand “no, I know you wouldn’t just…” you sigh, not wanting to think about him going to someone else “I know that Dean, I trust you not to. That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what are you worried about?” His eyes are wide and earnest in the moonlight. And suddenly you feel a strike of fear like a blow to your chest. Tears spring to your eyes at the thought of losing him and you bury your head in his chest, embarrassed. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” His voice is soft as his hand strokes the back of your head. “You’re worrying me.”

“I don’t want to be the reason you stop… stop living the life that you” a breath catches in your throat and you sob in frustration at not finding the right words “I know you like… and right now you love me, but I know you like to move on quickly, and I’m nothing special, so you love me now, but soon you’ll grow tired.”

He moves so fast that you jolt in surprise. He cups your face with both hands and moves down so you’re looking him in the eye. His brows are furrowed and his jaw is set in determination. “I want you to listen to me sweetheart, I love you, and I won’t grow tired of you.” You try to turn your head away but he grabs you firmly and holds you in place “no, Y/N do you hear me?” There’s a beat of silence and you realize he wants an answer. You close your eyes and a tear slides down your cheek. You nod.

“Y/N” his voice is softer now “look at me darling” he says in a hoarse whisper, like he’s in pain. You open your eyes and the sight of him makes you choke on a sob and your hear stutter in your chest. “I like sex, and that’s why I picked girls up at every bar. But then I met you, and fell in love with you, and we still have sex” he smiles and wiggles his eyebrows, you huff out a teary laugh and his smile turns soft. “I like now better than before.”

“But I’m so plain” you say, hating to ruin the moment “You’re special to me” he says, undeterred. “And I’m pretty plain myself.”

“No you’re not” you huff “you’re loyal and funny and wonderful and smart and strong and you’re fucking beautiful.”

“So are you!” he says it loudly, like _aha! I gotcha!_ “And so are millions of other guys, and millions of other girls.” You fall silent, turning his words over in your head.

“You think I’m funny?” He jokes, even though you can see a faint blush high on his cheeks. You laugh and turn away, shaking your head fondly.

“You’re special to me sweetheart” he continues, whispering softly into your hair. “We’ve been through so much together, more than most.” You both inhale shakily against each other, you truly have been through so much. “And you’ve stayed. I don’t give a fuck if there’s a million people out there that are exactly like you, I love _you_. _You_ are the one that’s been there, and you are the one that I want.”

You press your forehead against his. Inhaling deeply and closing your eyes. He wipes away stubborn tears with his thumbs and then presses them to your lips softly.

When you open your eyes again you gasp. You can see every detail of his face. The scar on his chin, the dusting of freckles on his cheek. His eyes are so very green.

You kiss his fingers softly and then lean in to kiss him. His lips feel soft as they caress yours almost reverently, his rough hands feel soft where they are cupping your jaw and this kiss feels like going to heaven.

 _Better_. You realize with a smile when you part.

“I love you” he whispers against your lips.

_I know._

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> You can also find me on Tumblr @soopranatural


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